That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
