Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
