Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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