My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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