that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
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I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
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tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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