Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
