Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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