his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
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It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
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Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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