You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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