Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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