I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
