I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
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