i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
