if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
