In the future we'll all be gay
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Too much gin, very little bucket
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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