Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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