Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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