Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Yo dont text me then not text me
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
