The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
