u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
