he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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