after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
