OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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