shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
