you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Randomize
