I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
