Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Farmville is her only friend.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm like, not good at living.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
