were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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