That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
