I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
