you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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