Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
