On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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