yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
