I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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