i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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