i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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