The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just invented taco cereal.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
