just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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