i just wanna soil my oats bro
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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