Everything about him screamed your future.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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