Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
