You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
