Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
