please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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