The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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