Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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