I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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