so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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