Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
