We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
