I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
