you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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