I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
