I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i think i scared a bird with my dick
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
