I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
